Friday, September 13, 2013

Comments on Speech Situation Writing Practice

O levels 2010 Mark range is between 16 to 22 marks with the most common grade being 19 marks.

Here are the comments I have for this exercise:

Task fulfillment
1. Some students forgot to elaborate on how to organize the fund raising event. You should devote one paragraph to this since it is explicitly stated in the question as part of the task.

2. Most of you managed to get the tone correct and were generally quite persuasive as you made reference to the victims of the natural disaster being in grave need of extra funds from the Red Cross Society.

3. One key error is that you are making a speech to convince your committee members to support your preferred option of the two suggestions that have already been made. In other words, you did not spend time specifically "brainstorming:" to come up with the two ideas. Rather, it was a case of you seriously considering and weighing the pros and cons of the 2 options and then deciding on one of the options.

Elaboration of ideas 

1. In terms of ideas for elaboration, both choices could have been slightly better elaborated upon.

Here are some ideas on who this could be done.
Sale of student art work 
1. For the sale of student art work idea, it could be potentially a good idea if the type of art mediums is adequately wide. For instance besides water colours and oil paintings, there could also be ceramic works and pottery as well as installation art work.

2. To market the art work sale, the organisers would need to reach out to a target audience of people who can appreciate art and this could be done by collaborating with some of the art galleries who could be convinced to do a good deed by helping to publicise the event on their websites and to send email blasts to their customer database. This could help position the art gallery as not only being interested in making profits but also in assisting in raising money for a good cause. This would improve the corporate image of the art gallery and hence they would be willing to participate in helping to publicise the sale of student art work event.

3. The school could also contact their alumni who are already working and a number are professional and so they may be exposed to different art genres and hence they are more likely to purchase a piece of art work not only for a good cause but also be able to appreciate their aesthetics of the piece.

Food and fun fair 
1.  This was better elaborated upon. However, students could also improve on the ideas and language used.

2. To lower the cost of organizing the event, the committee would have to approach companies for sponsorship of ingredients or food products for the food stalls to cook and sell and to seek donations from companies so that the money can used to pay for the material used for the games stalls and to set up the tents needed to provide shelter from the sun and rain since part of the fair would be held outdoors.

Introduction and endings.
Most students did a good job and had read the notes beforehand. So this was encouraging. For a couple of you who did not end the speech well, it is definitely as case of you not referring to the notes and putting in the effort.

Grammar 
There were some subject verb agreement and tense errors but far less than in previous exercises. Some students also tended to make such errors while others had very few such errors. Overall , the improvement has been significant. Keep up the good work.  

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